Meeting singles when you are alone is not always easy. In any case, dating sites are one of the possible avenues. Although each person is unique, I will give you some tips for finding your soulmate online, based on my personal experience and that of my clients for over a decade…
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1 — Being honest is a choice…
If you choose not to reveal your real age to attract younger singles to your profile and appear younger, at least you can mention it in the conversation early enough so that the other person is not disappointed and doesn’t waste time if your real age does not satisfy them. Moreover, people are not fooled… If you mentioned 35 years old in your profile and you look 47 in your photo, many may notice it, and you will decrease your response rate.
The same goes for your physical appearance. Are you a few inches shorter than the ideal stereotype and/or a few (or more) extra pounds? You may get fewer responses if you tell the truth, but at least those you do get will be based on who you really are and not a false image!
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2 — Be specific without revealing too much…
Make sure not to write too many details. This makes your profile long to read and can be heavy for the reader, and it also eliminates the mystery. It’s like having a gift unwrapped! The information you do not reveal is more likely to spark the imagination of the single person reading you and tends to project their own desires. So, you don’t feel obligated to write all sorts of details about yourself.
A single person who says in their profile: “I love historical movies and comedies” says much more about their tastes than another who writes: “I love cinema…” So be careful with generalities like, “I enjoy good food and good wine.” Most people like that! What kind of food do you like? What dishes do you cook? The same goes for sports, travel, etc. Be more specific about what you like.
3 — Be active on online dating networks
Whether you are single or not, don’t wait for someone to contact you on the network; go check out others you like. In Quebec, more and more women are making the first move because more and more men are hesitant to do so. We are no longer in the time, especially after 50 years, when men offer women…
4 — Meet in person
Once contact is established, don’t stay in virtual conversations for months. Go at your own pace, of course, but take the course fairly quickly. Meeting face to face rather than online can reset the clock in terms of your idea of a single person and can drop many illusions or fears. I suggest going for a coffee. If you feel really comfortable, it might be a date, but you don’t have to have a long candlelit dinner… If you want, you can always suggest extending the date. And if you don’t have common interests, the meeting won’t be monopolized by a long date.
5 — Don’t have too many expectations
Don’t invest too emotionally in an exchange. If you get too invested and create expectations for yourself, you may see your morale decrease and feel depressed. Take online dating as one of the ways to date among others and not as an end in itself. Vary your hobbies to meet people in the Montreal area or elsewhere in Quebec; it’s an important part of a person’s life. If you want, I can help you with these aspects as well as with your social approaches or to develop a romantic relationship. You can fill out my form for that purpose.
6 — Don’t fall into internet addiction
Finding your soulmate online, why not, but don’t stop your social life to be online every evening and/or weekend. Waiting for your messages and emails can be addictive. Set limits and stick to them. So, if you are trying to be a couple, don’t invest everything online. Real life can also bring you beautiful encounters that should not be neglected. And while waiting to meet to find your soulmate, continue to have real social relationships…
7 — Consider the approach of your circle
Instead of standing alone in your corner looking for love, have you thought about mentioning that you would like to meet your soulmate to your circle? Talk to friends, colleagues who care about you, cousins, etc. Invite them to share your social networks. Maybe some of them can help you make great connections because they might have single people among their acquaintances.
On this note, I wish you well in meeting to find your soulmate, no matter how virtual or in person! If you have a good story to share, you can send it to me here, and I will be happy to read it.
©Marie-France Archibald, founder and trainer of CoachSéductionMontréal
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